In a moment of anger I posted a blog about some of the things my husband has done. All very valid reasons for me to walk away from him and never look back.
Believe me I considered it. I know that walking away would be easier than staying, I also know from experiance that walking away would be the quickest way for me to close up a very painful chapter of my life and move on.
Contrary to some people's beliefs I don't need to stay for his pay check. Even in the last six months I have been offered jobs, good paying jobs in a field that I have a lot of experiance in. I turned them down because I want to be in this place with my husband and these children living this life, that despite all the bad things, does hold some good bits as well.
There are parts of my husband that the cyber whores don't really know. They may have heard his version of our life, but they have never actually witnessed him with our children. They have never sat next to him while he played his guitar to a song that our kids made up.
They have never cooked a meal with him by their side. Nor have they ever saw the excitement in his face when his hawk has a good day.
Not one of them have been doubted by him and witnessed the complete awe in him when he realizes that you have actually done something brilliant even though he didn't think it was possible.
Nor has any of those women ever walked beside him with a camera and been completely smitten with the photographs he captured during your walk.
Those are a few of the things that keep me holding on to him and working through the hell that he has dumped us into.
Maybe I am just that niev, maybe I am just that strong, but either way I love him like I have never loved anyone before, and because I love him I am still here and still trying to get through this with him.