Thursday, June 19, 2014

Not Ready To Go Home

First, my husband got his first tattoo today. I found a few images on the internet and put them together to create a design that represents him…his faith, which he openly admits saved him from self destruction recently, falconry, which he has a passion for and photography which he has loved for most of his life.

Now onto my lack of desire to go home. We have spent the last two weeks on vacation, it has been a great vacation for the most part. We went to Great Wolf Lodge, then we spent the rest of our time on South Padre Island, swimming, walking on the beach, horse back riding, going to Schlitterbahn and relaxing by the pool. 

Anyone would be happy about staying here and living the vacation life. That however, is not the reason for my reluctance to go home. My desire to avoid the place where we live  is based around the fact that moving to that town and into that house was supposed to be this big change and start of a better life. Instead it somehow amplified his addiction and sent him spiraling into the worste part of derating me in order to justify his actions.

I don't want to go into a house that should be our home and look at the furniture he sat on while conducting his cyber affairs, phone sex and video wanking. I dread walking in the door and I dread facing the reality of his infedelity and the pain of his betrayal. 

The rest of the family are ready to go home, I however want to crawl into bed in this vacation rental and refuse to face reality or a house that is not a home to me any longer. 
I will end with a couple good moments from our vacation, walk on the beach, turtle from the turtle rescue and crabs from night time walks on the beach.