I have made a huge effort not to think about the difficult stuff, and have certainly been fairly sucessful in not asking questions or verbalizing my thoughts during our vacation.
It has not been easy but I have managed it for the most part.
Last night we managed to sneak off for a dinner date without the kids. It was a great evening and I should have been happy to have the adults only time. Things seemed as they should be until I hear my husband say " hey, thank you for giving me a chance at a great life" I nearly burst into tears. Partly because it was emotionally difficult to here him acknowledge that he didn't realize he had a great life before now especially considering that I have changed very little about my part in our life, partly because I know I helped bring the truth to light but God only knows if I am capable of seeing this through to the end, and partly because it is nice to finally hear a genuine thank you for all the effort I put into out marriage.
I have truly wanted to curl up in bed and cry and sleep every since we arrived, but in an effort to make this a great vacation and a time of healing for us both I have forced myself to get up and do things that the children and my husband will enjoy. Including an early bike ride that resulted in me scaping my knee among other injuries when I ( while completely stopped ) managed to fall off my bike!
Emotionally I have had to go on auto pilot and pretty much allow myself some time of shutting down in order to ensure I allow my family to enjoy these two weeks. Some may say shutting off my emotions is not a good move but I believe it is necessary in order to leave the difficult situation out of this time. And I believe our children deserve some un-tainted family time.